Skuttle Squirrels, Bowling Pins and Ducks
by QuietLion
Summary: Sirius, Remus, Severus and Lucius head to the Lake District for a September weekend break. Madness ensues.Watch out for the old ladies, ducks, showers and much more. Sirus/Lucius Severus/Remus T at the minute rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note- Ok. So I started writing this story almost a year ago. In fact it will be a year next week. My best friend (Moonbanana_cat) and I were on a short september weekend holiday. We said and done a lot of random stuff. This fic was born from that. It will follow events that took place, with other things added in. :)

Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen.

**Chapter 1**

**Day 1 - 11.30am Friday – Supermarket Lobby**

"Are we all here..." Remus did a quick head count.

"No." was Severus' reply , " Lucius is off somewhere."

"Where did he go?"

"I think he went to the toilet..." replied Severus.

Remus sighed.

"Does anyone else need to go to the toilet? Go now if you do." Remus finished with a glare that only one with a Slytherin partner could pull off.

Sirius ran off in the direction of the bathroom scaring several small children on the way. With a small nod in the direction of Remus, Severus also stalked off.

Remus sighed for the second time.

Lucius met his hyperactive partner on his way back from the bathroom. It was amazing, how much a grown man could act like a five-year-old going on their first holiday.

"Sirius stop acting like a child," Lucius snapped.

"Hiya, Remus is getting annoyed, and he keeps moaning because we haven't left yet, why is he so moany? Huh? Why? He glared at everyone and told them to go to the toilet, I don't like it when he's like that Luci!" Sirius finished his spiel with a whine.

_'I have not had enough coffee yet' _Lucius thought.

"I don't know why he's like that Sirius," Lucius said patiently. " But you know he's right, we should be gone by now. You should- oh look cookies."

Sirius whirled round 360 degrees, his feet tangling together and his poor balance sending him tipping and stumbling into the door of the men's toilets before crumpling in a heap half in and half out. Much to Sirius' dismay, he couldn't see any cookies anywhere. He pouted.

"You said there was cookies."

Lucius never answered, choosing to walk away chuckling to himself instead. Severus had witnessed the entire ordeal and had begun scowling slightly.

_'Trust Lucius to find himself a mutt,' _he thought darkly as he walked into the bathroom without pausing in his stride or sparing a glance to the man ( still pouting ) that he had only just missed stepping on.

Remus saw a chuckling Lucius returning and immediately wondered what Sirius had gone and done this time. A questioning glance sent Lucius into stitches again.

"There was...no cookies...!"

Remus raised an eyebrow. Another habit he had picked up from Sev.


	2. Are We There Yet?

A/N- Ok so I know it has been forever since I posted the first chapter. I honestly didn't think it would take this long. You'll be pleased to know I have the next few chapters ready. I just couldn't get over the block and write this. Then Real Life decided to kick up a storm or two and it just was not fun. I never want to apply to university ever again. :(

**To give credit where it is due: The Oreos Scene (you'll know it when you get to it) belongs to the one and only Moon_Banana_cat. She's a fantastic author and best friend. Go check out her stuff. **

**Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen. **

**I also do not own Mika's song Blame it on the Girls or Oreos...**

**Chapter 2-Are We There Yet?**

The boot slammed, doors slammed, belts clicked in and three sets of eyes turned to the drivers seat.

"Where, might I ask, has that damn werewolf gone?" Lucius asked.

Sev blinked.

"I think he went to the toilet." Sirius' small, distracted voice came from behind his gameboy.

Sev blinked.

And blinked again.

"I...Am...Going...To...Kill...Him."

Remus wandered back to the car humming to himself.

Severus lifted his head and turned to look out the window.

"Oh look! Severus' bat sense is tingling!" Sirius had given up on the game boy and had taken to tormenting Severus.

Glares. Well two sets of glares and a grown man bouncing around like a five-year-old. That's what greeted Remus...

Fwloup. The door closed.

"What's wrong?" Remus looked genuinely confused.

"Where were you?" Severus ground out.

"Toilet..."

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"Sirius we haven't even left the car park..."

"Severus put the music on."

"No Lucius."

"Crunch, crunch, crunch."

"Do not spill those rainbow drops all over my car Sirius!"

"Can you turn on the music Sev dear?"

"No Lucius."

"Crunch, crunch, crunch"

"Remus would you turn on the music?"

"No Lucius."

"Zzzzzz"

"Has Sevvie fallen asleep Remi?"

"Yes Sirius, why don't you?"

_Insert Mika's Blame it on the Girls._

Lucius sings along-badly.

"Where is that abysmal noise coming from?" Severus' acerbic voice broke in.

"My ipod speakers! See!" A happ Lucius was oblivious to his long time friends tone.

Remus drove. Sirius button bashed on his gameboy. Severus pretended to be asleep. And Lucius polished off the packet of oreos, quite content, until a certain Mssr Black noticed.

"Have you eaten that ENTIRE packet by yourself, Poodle?"

The blond man looked down at the empty packet on his lap. The Labrador grinned wickedly and turned off his game, having found a new source of amusement.

"You did, didn't you!"

Lucius turned and looked out the window feeling decidedly guilty.

"You pig you, that's what I should call you! Not Poodle!" Sirius leered across the backseat at his parner.

Severus huffed from the frontseat and shifted so that he was facing the window.

"Leave Luce alone, Mutt."

"But it's true!"

"Guys, quiet down. I'm trying to drive..."

"He's starting with biscuits and then it'll be cakes!"

"Seriously, trying to concentrate here..."

"And he'll get so FAT! BIGGER AND BIGGER!"

Lucius' lip trembled and his eyes shone.

"Sirius, shut up, Lucius is getting upset!"

"AND BIGGER! THEN BOOM!"

"Sirius, trying to drive here!"

"AND HE'LL EXPLODE! LITTLE BITS OF LUCIUS EVERY WHERE!"

"SIRIUS SHUT THE HELL UP!" Remus screamed and all but threw the car round the roundabout.

There was silence in the car and Sirius and Severus stared wide eyed at a fuming Remus. They settled back in their seats.

"Hey Poodle, what's up?" Sirius beamed at his lover.

Lucius burst into tears.

Peace. At last. Remus continued driving. Severus reading quietly next to him, Lucius with headphones in now and Sirius happily munching his rainbow drops and talking softly to his invisible friend.

"RIIIIIIP! SHPLOOOSH!"

"Sirius. You did not just spill ranbow drops all over my car did you?" Remus' voice was dangerously quiet.

"Nooooooooo." Came the obvious lie from Sirius. Sirius knew that tone from Remus. It did not bode well for his future...

_A short time later..._

"WOO! We're here! Look a Squirrel!"

"Sirius calm down."

"Why is there a que?"

"Sirius stop whining."

"Are we really there yet? Are we really there yet? Are we really there yet?"

"That's it!" Remus slammed on the breaks. "Out Sirius. You can walk the rest of the way to the car park."


	3. Oooh Look a Squirrel!

A/N: So here I thought I would have got this out last week. It's not much, just a short interlude before we get into the longer chapters (next chapter is immense!) . You might get that in the next few days actually, it's all handwritten just needs typed. We might end up getting a few days off school if this snow keeps up so cross fingers! So please have a read, I hope you enjoy it, and pretty please with Alan Rickman on top can you leave me a review? It would make my day! * puppy dog eyes *

Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen.

**Interlude**

**La la la la la la...Oooh Look A Squirrel!**

So there is a man. He's dancing along the edge of a forest singing to himself.

"Oooh LOOK! A SQUIRREL!"

The man dashed off into the forest in pursuit of the squirrel.

"Leave a note and let's go to the lodge. He's taking too long..."

"Alright. Just tell him to come to the lodge?"

"That should do."

Several hours later a somewhat muddy Sirius left the forest. He saw Remus' car and went to join his friends and lover. They weren't there. A note was however.

_Come to the lodge you daft mutt._

Pouting at the implication of being daft Sirius shrugged and skipped off to the nearest signpost looking for the area their lodge was in.

Ten minutes later a persistent knocking on the door brought Severus away from his unpacking to let who he assumed was "the mutt" in.

"Hello. I chased a squirrel. All the way up a tree."

Severus didn't even dignify it with a response. He turned and walked away.

"Remus we're going to the spa NOW!"

"Alright Sev. Sirius it took you long enough!"

"I was chasing Frank."

"Ok."

Remus turned his back and walked over to Severus. "Who's Frank?" he wispered.

"I'm assuming he is the squirrel Sirius was chasing..."


	4. The Spa Scene

A/N: I am soooooooo sorry! I kept meaning to type this and never got round to it! You have no idea how bad I feel! I've been neglecting my Beta work as well on The Founders by Moon_banana_cat. So three chapters of that should be uploaded tonight as well! Btw I absolutely hate writing dissertations _ Advanced Higher English... Such fun.

Anyways on with the show. ( This happens to be my favourite chapter!"

**Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen. **

**There is a line similar to one which was in a tv programme several years ago. I do not own it. Points to anyone that recognises it though.**

**The Spa Scene**

"Luci! Hurry up! Sev and Remus are already gone!"

"..."

"LUCI!"

"SIRIUS! Will you shut up please? I'm trying to take my lenses out."

"..."

"What Sirius? Why is your hand in the air?"

"..."

"Well?"

"..."

"Sirius, what is it?"

"You told me not to speak."

"You listened? Why was your hand in the air?"

"I wanted to speak."

"In general or did you have something specific to say?" Lucius said with just a hint of sarcasm. This was meant to be relaxing, Remus had said. He obviously forgot what happened whenever Sirius was around.

One word. Chaos.

"You can't see without your lenses Lucius."

"I know."

"So why are you taking them out?"

"They will dry up in the spa Sirius. I told you that earlier."

"Oh."

Lucius finally managed to get his contacts out, took a deep breath and prayed to Merlin that he didn't regret his next words.

"Sirius, I'm ready now. We can go in."

"Okay." Sirius wandered off.

"SIRIUS!"

"What?"

"I need you to... help me get to Severus. I can't see!"

Sirius started laughing.

"What?" Lucius pouted.

"You hate asking for help. Maybe I should leave you?" Sirius turned away again.

"SIRIUS!"

"What?" Sirius asked as innocently as he could.

"If you don't help me, I will take all your sweets and chocolate away for the next month." Lucius glared.

Sirius whimpered.

"Take me to Sev."

Deciding against his better judgement Lucius pit his arm through Sirius' and started to walk. His pace appeared too slow for Sirius, who proved once again why his animagus form was a dog by skipping off as fast as he could, dragging poor Lucius along behind him.

Severus heard Sirius approaching before he could see him and smirked slightly at Lucius' predicament.

When Sirius stopped suddenly directly in front of Severus, Lucius almost toppled over. His proud upbringing made him right himself quickly and take the few steps over to the blur he assumed was Severus.

"Where would you like to go Lucius?"

"Anywhere Sev, I can not see. Just take me where you want to go."

"I like this room, it's nice and relaxing and lemony..."

"Did Severus Snape just say lemony?" Lucius asked, amusement colouring his tone.

"I'll give you back to your mutt."

"I'll shut up."

At the door to the "lemony" room:

"Linoleum, Plutonium..." Severus attempted to work out the name of the room they were about to enter.

"PLUTONIUM! That can't be good for you!" Lucius replied squinting at what he assumed was the name plate.

Elsewhere:

"Too warm!"

"Too cold!"

"Eeew! This room smells!"

"AND WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS TINKLY MUSIC CRAP!"

Near the lemony room:

"Lucius, I think your mutt is causing trouble again."

Severus and Lucius had left the lemony room to see Sirius or in Lucius' case, a Sirius shaped blob, running headfirst toward some water beds.

"Wooo! Heehee! Luci! Can we get one of these? Pleeeeeeease?"

Lucius shook his head and groaned. The entire spa had come to a standstill with Sirius' antics.

"Where on earth is Remus?" Severus asked, noticing his other half had been silent through the entire ordeal. After a quick look around for Remus and not seeing him, Severus decided to take a walk.

"Sevvie! Don't leave me!" Lucius whined.

"Lucius. Do. Not. Call. Me. That. Ridiculous. Name,"

"Severus!"

"Lucius, don't whine, it's unbecoming. Stay here, I'll be back in a minute, I'm looking for Remus."

"Okay."

Severus turned his back on Lucius and began to search for Remus.

"SMACK!" Lucius walked into a pillar.

Severus stopped.

"Lucius, do you understand the concept of stay here?"

"Ouch, crap, bugger, bollocks, knickers..."

"Knickers? Merlin you're English!"

"..."

"Well come along then, we don't have all night."

Five minutes later the pair found the werewolf in question sitting peacefully with a calm, serene expression on his face and his feet in one of the foot baths.

"Remus?"

"Yes, Sev dear?"

"have you been here the entire time?"

"Yes, dear."

"Oh."  
"Is there anything else I can help you with dear?"

"Yes _dear _don't call me dear."

"Okay love. Oh and Lucius? You should try and train your pup."

"I've tried. Believe me I've tried." Lucius muttered.

Severus shook his head, "Shall we try the Japanese Salt Bath room, Lucius?"

"If you want Sev. I can't see remember?"

Japanese Salt Bath room:

"I like this room. It smells good and it's relaxing.

"Lucius, you are picking up bad habits from Sirius."

"What?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "You are rambling."

"Oh."

"Very eloquent." Severus said dryly.

"The pungent odour of this vessel is assaulting my senses." Lucius sniffed.

"That was just childish."

"Come along Severus. I don't believe we have been in this direction yet."

"How can you tell. You're blind?"

"There is a red blob in the middle of the cream."

Severus looked at his long time friend. At the minute he looked as haughty as he possibly could, showing everything his aristocratic upbringing had drilled into him. Head held high, straight back, shoulders back, nose in the air, look down the nose. The only thing that gave Lucius away was the fact that his eyes, that should have been cold and unfeeling were unfocused and a little anxious. Lucius hated not being in control.

"Alright Lucius, we'll go that way. The red blob is a painting by the way. The red blob is a painting by the way."

"Any good?"

"Absolutely rotten."

In the area of the red blob:

"Hmm, I think that room may be a little too warm."

"THE HUMIDITY LEVEL IS HOW HIGH!"

"I wonder what is in here... It's some sort of shower, I think. You press one of those buttons on the wall here."

"What is that large thing that I think is a bucket for? Oh. My. God. I think it dumps water on you!"

"Relax Lucius, you're being over-dramatic. It wont dump water on you."

"How do you know?"

"I just do"

"You can go first then. I'm going to wait over there..." (points toward a wall)

Severus rolled his eyes but complied nonetheless.

A minute later spluttering and squaking came from "the shower thingy." A second later a dripping Severus emerged.

"SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WOULD DUMP WATER ON YOU!"

"Lucius, I believe you have just lost whatever dignity you had left."

"But, but, but..."

"It doesn't dump water on you unless you press the third button. Come on it's your turn. Don't press the third button."

"No, no, no, no..." Lucius started backing away from the "evil shower thingy." He noted with a hint of amusement his mind had upgraded the rating on the shower.

"Lucius, come on. Quit being a ponce."

"I'm not being a ponce!" Lucius cried with a hint of indignation.

"You..."

"Severus? Where are you love? It's time to go." Remus' sleepy voice called out.

"Over here. And don't call me love." Severus replied through gritted teeth.

"What is going on here?" Remus had arrived to see Lucius still backing away from the shower and Severus. Panicked eyes going between the direction of the shower and his lover.

"Nothin, Lucius is just being a ponce."

"I'm not a ponce!"

"LUCI'S A PONCE! A PONCE! A PONCE!" Sirius came running towards them, not a care in the world for the other users of the spa or the angry glares they sent his way.

"Sirius fell asleep for 45 minutes in a room meant for five minute use. It appears to have made him more hyper than usual." Remus said by way of explanation.

"Let's leave." Lucius replied hurriedly.

Outside the spa:

Lucius finally had his glasses back on. He let out a quick 'Yippee!' in his mind. He could see again! Just as Lucius' mind began a happy dance, Remus, ever the voice of reason, broke in, startling him back to reality.

"Shall we head back to the lodge?"

End Scene

A/N 2:

1575 words! Wow!

Some of this chapter is based on personal experience. I am almost blind without glasses or contacts and managed to walk into a pillar in a spa. Other parts that are based on personal experience are the attempted figuring out of the name of the "lemony" room and the red blob on the wall. Oh and the shower :P Hope you enjoyed this chapter. A review would make my day. Please?


	5. Sirius and the Tree

OMG I KNOW! THERE IS NO EXCUSE!

**Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen.**

**Sirius and the Tree**

Three men were walking at a reasonable pace, side by side, talking to each other. The fourth was running in circles around them.

A mischievous look appeared on the fourth man's face. He ran away into the night without a backwards glance at his companions.

"Well that was odd."

"That's Sirius."

"I do not know how you put up with that mutt Lucius. How do you have any valuables left in your house?" Severus asked with some increduality.

"Two words, Sticking. Charms."

'I have all the keys! I have all the keys!' Sirius kept up the mantra all the way to the bar.

"Beer please."

Several drinks and a few hours later, a rather drunk Sirius began to stumble in the direction he thought was his home for the weekend.

Severus, Remus and Lucius were sitting on the front steps of their lodge, as they had been for three hours.

"Who's bright idea was it to give Sirius the key?" Severus asked.

"Mine, Severus," Remus replied tiredly. They had had this conversation four times already.

"Well don't do it again!"

Lucius' phone went off.

'Tghp bdfr ir repljy good'

"Oh Merlin, I think Sirius is drunk. Read this"

"Tghp bdfr ir repljy good? What on Earth is that meant to say?" Severus asked.

"I think it says ' This beer is really good." Remus replied.

"How do you figure that?"

"I've had a lot of practice at reading drunk Sirius texts over the years. Plus you can make those words with the letters on the keypad near what he's typed..."

"Lucius find out where that child you babysit is..."

'Where are you Sirius?'

Beep beep

"Apparently 'tis a secwet' At least this on is a little more readable."

"Lucius get him back!" Severus very nearly yelled.

"It wont work Sev. Believe me, I've known Sirius a long time. He'll come back when he's bored not before." Remus sighed.

Beep Beep

'Im sorry. I didnt mean to gdtj kije thrs :( '

"At least he knows he's drunk" Lucius said.

"I DON'T CARE! IT'S COLD AND I'M TIRED! I WANT TO BE INSIDE IN MY BED!" Severus did yell this time.

Beep beep

'Im omt puqe'

"That might sober him up a little." Remus the only one still calm.

"He is sleeping alone for the next month."

Beep beep

'.m rdally r6pry HPT DIDOT Meaw to gdt lile this :( '

'Yes you are an idiot now come back to the lodge.'

'ok'

"He said he's coming back" Lucius said quietly.

"It's going to take him a while. When he's this drunk he can't walk" Remus' voice was sad.

10 minutes later

Beep beep

'I foumd a frmg called wilfred :) gt was awesomd'

"He's found a frog. Apparently it's called Wilfred."

"It will be a dead frog if he brings it back with him!" Severus said in a deadly voice with a glare to match. The effect was slightly ruined however due to the fact that he was cuddled into Remus with Remus' jacket around his shoulders. Remus was also very gently running a hand through his hair.

"He wont bring it back," Remus soothed. "He'll just have a conversation with it for a while and then let it go. He once had a conversation with some rocks..."

Severus grumbled something under his breath.

"Apparently the rocks forgave him..." Remus continued.

Sirius was crouching in the middle of the forest, a frog ( that was actually a toad ) in front of him.

" Yesh well Remimimus ish no fun ya know Wilfred? And Sevvie is is is a greasy old bat!"

"Ribbit"

"You don't like bats Wilfred?"

"Ribbit Ribbit"

"Me neeva. And Luci, Luci is a...a...a...DITSY BLONDE!"

"Ribbit Ribbit"

"He is pretty though, Wilfred. Don't you agree?"

"Ribbit"

"Like an Angel... But he's stuck up..."

"Ribbit Ribbit"

"Yeah your right. He's too possh! It's his 'Malfoy Breeding'"

"Ribbit"

"Narcissa is a princess! But she's the Devil!"

"Ribbit Ribbit"

"She IS! She's evil on the inside, pretty on the outside!"

"Ribbit Ribbit"

"We wont agree will we?"

"Nathaniel is smart! Like WOW! Smart. It's scary."

"Ribbit"

"Hey! I am smart!"

"Ribbit Ribbit"

"Well, maybe I shouldn't have left them locked out."

"Ribbit"

"Fine. I'll go let them in."

"Ribbit Ribbit."

"Goodnight Wilfred, and good luck with the wife!"

Sirius got up and began walking in the direction of the lodge again. This time he was slightly steadier on his feet. Wilfred the frog ( that was really a toad ) hopped away in the opposite direction.

"Grrrrr."

"Severus don't growl. He'll be back soon."

"Woohoo!" A grown man cried as he rode a childs bicycle down a hill.

"Wh-wh-wh-where is he?" Lucius chittered.

"He'll be here soon, it's been thirteen minutes. He'll have finished his conversation with the frog and be on his way back."

The man names Sirius was hurtling towards a family, seemingly unable to stop.

"Watch out! Coming through! Move if you don't want to be human bowling pins!"

As the madman on the bike drew closer, the father and mother each grabbed a young child and pulled them out of harms way. It was still pretty close, as Sirius lost control of the bike and zig-zagged through th efamily.

"Sorry about that!" he called over his shoulder.

"Ok, I'm going to yell at that mutt when he gets back, best friend be damned!"

"FASTER!" Sirius screamed at his "borrowed" bike.

"OH SHIT! TREEEEEEE!"

CRASH!

"Someone please tell me Sirius didn't just crash into a tree." Remus calmy asked of the group...

"He did. Oh God he did!" Lucius made to rush over to his lover only to find himself held back by Remus.

"What are you doing wolf! He could be hurt! That's your best friend!"

"Calm down, Sirius bounces..."

Looking back at the tree Sirius was on his feet, yelling and gesturing madly at said tree.

Lucius deflated.

"How does he do that? How is he alright?"

"I've been asking myself the same question since we were eleven years old..."

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? HUH? IT WAS YOUR FAULT RUNNING IN FRONT OF A MAN ON A BIKE!"

"MY FAULT?"

"I GOT HERE FIRST! I WAS GOING FASTER!"

"Is that an old lady running down the hill Sirius came from?" Severus blinked and asked.

"Is that a mob forming behind her?" Lucius asked, voice forced into a calmness he did not feel.

"I believe so." Remus answered with amusement.

Sirius had given up yelling and started to kick the poor tree that had the misfortune to be in his way.

The surprisingly spry elderly lady leading the mob had nearly reached Sirius, handbag raised threateningly.

Sirius turned to see the grandmother of the little boy who's bike he had "borrowed" swing her handbag to clobber him.

Smack!

She got the thief good!

"Ouch! What was that for you mad old bat?"

"Alright time to get him home safe." Lucius said.

"Sirius! Here boy!" Remus called.

Immediately Sirius turned and began bounding toward Remus, happy grin on his face, tongue beginning to loll out. The second he reached the trio he placed a quick kiss on Lucius' lips and opened the door. Said door Severus slammed shut seconds later.

"Hi guys!" Sirius joyfully greeted.

Severus glared and stomped off.

Lucius glared and stomped off.

Remus smiled slightly, shook his head and went to put the kettle on.

"What happened?" A bewildered Sirius asked.

End Scene

Hope you guys enjoyed!


	6. La Guepe

Ok so, I got loads of views on the last chapter but no reviews... :( This chapter is short, its just a little scene that happened to my friend and I while we were away for the weekend using a small amount of (bad) French. Translations are probably not correct, my French is probably not correct, but hey no body is reviewing so it doesn't matter much. I'm writing this for my own enjoyment in order to never forget some amazing memories.

**Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen.**

**La Gu****êpe **

Lucius and Severus were en route to the badminton court, holding a nonsense conversation in French. To someone who did not know the language it sounded quite impressive.

« Tu as trop tard, tu as perdu, tu n'as pas les jambes ! »

« J'ai les jambes ! C'est un peu froid... »

« Oui, c'est froid mais tu n'as pas les jambes. »

« J'ai les jambes mon amis, j'ai les jambes. Comment çava cette matin? »

« Bien et tu ? Et tu as trop tard, tu as perdu et tu n'as pas les jambes. »

To the family walking behind the duo, this was all incredibly exotic. The tall dark haired man conversing with his equally tall blonde counterpart. Both carrying themselves with an elegant grace unseen in these parts. The family were impressed any foreigners as well off as this pair obviously were, would want to holiday in the middle of a forest full of sports facilities. Until a wasp appeared.

"OH MY GOD IT'S A FUCKING WASP!" Severus squawked as he attempted to bat it away. Lucius squealed and flailed, catching sight of the family who had been so impressed previously. All stood stalk still, mouths hanging open, staring at the incredibly British accents coming from the supposed Frenchmen.

End Scene.


End file.
